I left an 8 year relationship with an abusive man (emotionally and sometimes physically). After I left,
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One of my issues is that I am VERY easily startled. Example: I go to bed early and if I spend the night at my BFs house (he’s great! sweet and supportive) I will go to sleep before him. When he comes into the bedroom to come to bed after I’ve fallen asleep, it startles me to the point where I will sit up in bed and hyperventilate. He calms me down but this is every time! It also happens if someone comes up behind me etc. I know this is from my awful ex and living in fear for 8 years but will this ever go away? How can I stop myself from being started so easily?
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I am pretty well adjusted and have rebuilt my life after leaving him. I’m not sure how much of this is normal or not. How long it will last or what I can do to ease my fears. The other symptoms have gotten better with counseling and time. I would love to hear any suggestions, similar experiences or helpful it’d bits because I am completely new at all of this! TIA
Hi companion. Welcome to Psych Central. I am sorry you are still suffering from the lingering effects of abuse. A counselor trained in surviving abuse and trauma is a good first step. If the reactions are causing disruption in your life, there may be meds to help stabilize the situation. See a psychiatrist specializing in treating PTSD.
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I found this PTRS (Post Traumatic Relationship Syndrome) to explain a lot of what I was going through after a 33 year bad marriage that got much worse by the end. There was only a little physical abuse ever it was usually because I got fed up gave him a punch in the arm then he hit back. Bought a new bedroom set, as soon as I could. Pawned some things,
fake oakleys, reclaiming pieces of myself. Moving from the last marital home, helped immensely. Of course, I spent time dealing with sadness and stress. Anxiety has improved. I feel safe now,
fake ray ban sunglasses, considerably more so than even immediately after divorce.
I chose the path of taking my time before involvement with another, as that was a personal thing, considering I’d been in three consecutive long term relationships starting at the age of 16 spanning 21 years of my life. And after my exhusband I was ready for a break from the emotional places those took me. After being abused like I was, physical, emotional, financial I knew that if I kept doing what I was doing, it could have been much worse the next time,
discount oakleys, if I didn’t explore what brought me to it.