PTSD after leaving abusive relationship

I left an 8 year relationship with an abusive man (emotionally and sometimes physically). After I left,
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One of my issues is that I am VERY easily startled. Example: I go to bed early and if I spend the night at my BFs house (he’s great! sweet and supportive) I will go to sleep before him. When he comes into the bedroom to come to bed after I’ve fallen asleep, it startles me to the point where I will sit up in bed and hyperventilate. He calms me down but this is every time! It also happens if someone comes up behind me etc. I know this is from my awful ex and living in fear for 8 years but will this ever go away? How can I stop myself from being started so easily?

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I am pretty well adjusted and have rebuilt my life after leaving him. I’m not sure how much of this is normal or not. How long it will last or what I can do to ease my fears. The other symptoms have gotten better with counseling and time. I would love to hear any suggestions, similar experiences or helpful it’d bits because I am completely new at all of this! TIA

Hi companion. Welcome to Psych Central. I am sorry you are still suffering from the lingering effects of abuse. A counselor trained in surviving abuse and trauma is a good first step. If the reactions are causing disruption in your life, there may be meds to help stabilize the situation. See a psychiatrist specializing in treating PTSD.
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Many people here at PC find they can share these feelings and what they are going through with the confidence that people go through similar things and can empathize. So many forums are offered as well as Chatrooms (after you have 5 posts or comments on others posts),
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I found this PTRS (Post Traumatic Relationship Syndrome) to explain a lot of what I was going through after a 33 year bad marriage that got much worse by the end. There was only a little physical abuse ever it was usually because I got fed up gave him a punch in the arm then he hit back. Bought a new bedroom set, as soon as I could. Pawned some things,
fake oakleys, reclaiming pieces of myself. Moving from the last marital home, helped immensely. Of course, I spent time dealing with sadness and stress. Anxiety has improved. I feel safe now,
fake ray ban sunglasses, considerably more so than even immediately after divorce.

I chose the path of taking my time before involvement with another, as that was a personal thing, considering I’d been in three consecutive long term relationships starting at the age of 16 spanning 21 years of my life. And after my exhusband I was ready for a break from the emotional places those took me. After being abused like I was, physical, emotional, financial I knew that if I kept doing what I was doing, it could have been much worse the next time,
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